Now think about the holes in the walls he's left, about how he grabbed you in the hall, how he tried to kick the door shut before you could walk through. How he begged for more chances even though he wouldn't change.
Think about the times he's made you feel guilt for how he feels, for the slits on his wrists, for wanting to go to your mother's house. For wanting to spend time with other friends and not him. Think about how trapped you feel.
This happened to me. Twice. I've gone from one abusive situation to another. I've been broken beyond repair, I loved him. Loved him so much, and he threw me aside like he had accused me of doing to him. He promised to change, cried to me that he couldn't lose me, but he did. He lost me. My heart, my soul... Of which I have none anymore.
All I can think about now is "why?!" Why did this happen to me? Why would he do that if he truly loved me? Why would he want to? Why? Why? Why? My mind is racing and will not stop. There is a pain in my stomach.
Why?
Yep, I guess that is the question here Maggie. I'm a little perplexed. You just did a project about how this person was your anchor and now you're writing a post about how he's literally bringing you down. Certainly is confusing. Hope you take some time to sort it all out.
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ReplyDeleteWell........ AWKWARD... nice story, I have felt this way before... I like this though, and it's easy to relate to.
ReplyDeleteLife sucks, but you of all people know this. You'll get through it I know it, and I'm always here for you. <3
ReplyDeleteI do have to say, Mrs.Mo is kinda right, I'm a little confused as to whats going on because you just wrote about him in your project. Whatever happens, hope it works out!
ReplyDeleteI kind of agree with Natatlie and Mrs.Mo, but I do understand at the same time. I've gone through something similar but not with a boyfriend but someone that I loved dearly. You want them to be there and you want them to love you, but when they are so mean, and harsh physically it's hard
ReplyDeleteI kind of agree with Natatlie and Mrs.Mo, but I do understand at the same time. I've gone through something similar but not with a boyfriend but someone that I loved dearly. You want them to be there and you want them to love you, but when they are so mean, and harsh physically it's hard
ReplyDeleteThis was deep. Hope you find the answers to those questions you wonder about.
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