You know what's hard? LIFE! You make decisions and people stick their nose in it. Or don't talk to you and pretend you don't exist. As is the case in my home. Where if you don't do what she wants, my step mother will treat you like you are simply an inconvenient body in her home. We've had so many problems and tho she's said she'll change and show me love and she tried, it hasn't been showing. I'm constantly trying to find ways to hide away and/ or be out of the house. For instance for my birthday? I went to my boyfriend's house. No one had said anything and I had planned on this for a long while. I of course assumed that if they hadn't said anything they hadn't planned anything and therefore would not mind if I left. Well lo and behold! My step mother simply ignores me the whole next day until I texted her why she was acting like I didn't even exist. She said I had hurt my dad (which I hadn't cuz he hadn't said anything either) and that my grandmother had openly been upset when she had told my grandmother that Friday we weren doing anything. And that I should have made a better choice (according to her)..
They wanna chose my life for me regardless of how I wanna be, and regardless of what they have said.
Yes she's a nice person, but this really gets to me. I don't know why I keep giving her chances, but I do. Just like everyone else. And that leads to another thing! Just because I want to stay friends with people DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN CHOSE WHO THAT PERSON IS! I know you don't understand, and I don't understand everything but I just feel I should give him another chance. I do that. Whether people deserve it or not.
I live to make people happy. And I can't change. It makes people happy for me to get along and I try. I'm sorry if it's not enough for everyone. Maybe this is why I get driven to depression.
I lived for a long time trying to make people happy, but then this boy came along and showed me that you have to live for you, and stand up for yourself. I always got left behind, and stepped on, so I finally said enough. Now whether I will lose friends or not, I say whether or not I feel I am being treated fairly, so in the end, I didn't end up wasting my time. You can slowly work your way their! One step at a time.
ReplyDeleteThere comes a point in a person's life where they have to follow their heart and do what they think is right and this is your time. I know it's hard now, but always remember you have people around who support and care about you, and who are willing to help you if needed, all you have to do is ask. I really like how honest you were in this, nice job.
ReplyDeleteThis is very realistic in alot of homes nowadays, its aweful but people are cruel people and parents may act that way but they always intend for the best for you, they may just be scared or worried about you and have a really bad way of showing it. Ive lived with something like that my entire life. I once went almost three weeks without my mother ignoring me. She didn't even make me food, I would sit at the table with the rest of my siblings and she would place plates infront of every one of them and then just turn away like I wasnt even there.
ReplyDeleteWow, you've got some nice long comments here so I'll keep mine short. I found it hard to follow parts of this. You are or were clearly upset. One blog's sad, the next few are happy, and this one's upset. I'm just trying to follow along...
ReplyDeleteNeeds a title but other then that very well writen.
ReplyDelete